


Every mistake I make's the same ...

by CookieDoughMe



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: High School, M/M, Mutual Pining, No active Troubles, Teenagers, kind of angsty in that there is no resolution to the pining, these poor silly boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-04-23 00:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22228441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookieDoughMe/pseuds/CookieDoughMe
Summary: It's amazing the skills a person can develop when they really want to. Nathan liked to think that his good visual memory was due to his police training, and he might even have been right about that, but it started long before.-The title here is a line from Seether's"Eyes of the Devil". (I think pretty much every Seether song I've heard makes me think of Nathan and Duke in some way or another.)
Relationships: Duke Crocker/Nathan Wuornos
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	Every mistake I make's the same ...

It's amazing the skills a person can develop when they really want to. Nathan liked to think that his good visual memory was due to his police training, and he might even have been right about that, but it started long before. 

It started with the Little League games that Nathan expected Duke to give up on years earlier than he actually did. It started with the drive home afterwards, Nathan staring out the window in a daydream, reliving over and over again the moment Duke's long fingers had curled round the curve of the bat, or the rush as Duke ran past, long legs pumping at the ground. 

It started with history class, a disinterested teacher, and Duke taking advantage of her lateness to play the class clown, clambering over desks as other students variously laughed, joined in or scowled at him. It started with Nathan walking to his next class in a daze, visualising over and over again the moment when Duke had stepped from another desk onto his, pants pulled tight around his legs and shirt riding up at his waist as he moved.

If started with a group of students joking around in the cafeteria, threatening to throw food at each other, Nathan watching from the other side of the room as Duke dodged one friendly faux punch and then another slightly more serious one. It started with Nathan walking home on autopilot, replaying each stretch and twist of Duke's body in his head, and the way he slid out of the others' reach, long muscles too elegant for someone his age.

It started at a house party, Nathan oblivious to the underage drinking as Duke danced in the middle of the room and Nathan stood to the side, too stiff and awkward himself to join in. It started with Nathan replaying the image in his head the next day instead, going over and over every twist and turn of Duke's body, every smile and laugh, and particularly that moment where Duke closed his eyes and tilted his head back in enjoyment of the music, something like bliss on his face.

It started at the end of the night after a beach party, lying alone in bed unable to sleep and kept company only by the memory of the way the flickering light from the campfire had danced over the muscles of Duke's arms as he reached for another piece of firewood to add to the flames. It started with Nathan studying every detail in his memory of that moment as Duke's hand gripped the wood, before Duke had turned in his direction and Nathan, afraid of being discovered, had turned quickly away.

\- 

It's amazing the skills a person can develop when they really want to. Duke liked to think that his ability to watch someone without them noticing was due to its usefulness in his outside-of-the-law business dealings, and he was right about that, but it started long before.

It started with the Little League games he would have given up on much earlier if they hadn't afforded the chance to surreptitiously watch the way Nathan's forehead creased in concentration as the ball came towards him. It started with pretending to be simply following the game, while actually taking the opportunity to study the stretch of Nathan's body as he reached towards a catch. 

It started with acting the class clown as though he were bored, the jokes and the pranks during history class giving him an opportunity to glance around the room to wherever Nathan happened to be. It started with seeming to be looking everywhere at once, while in fact looking specifically to wherever Nathan's blue blue eyes and adorable reluctant little smile might be. 

It started with the apparently-casual walks round campus that took him past the hall where the audio-visual club met. It started with acting as though he were simply killing time, bored eyes glancing off whatever might be around, while in fact those eyes were focused with interest on the face of the club's president, whose face shone with rare animated enthusiasm as Nathan discussed the group's latest project.

It started with house parties, dancing in the middle of the room and drawing attention to himself as he moved so that no one would be paying attention to where he himself was looking. It started with acting as though he were absorbed in the music, simply so that he could watch without seeming to the way Nathan's hands held a glass, or the way his shirt fit round his shoulders and skimmed the curve of his ass as he walked.

It started with beach parties, throwing more wood on a bonfire that barely needed it, just to shine more light on Nathan's stunning face that he watched carefully through the flicker of the flames. It started with the plausible deniability that he was simply watching the fire, even as he paid no attention to it at all.

-

It's amazing the skills we can develop when they let us do something that calls to us. It is amazing too how acuity in one area can compensate for deficiency in another, perhaps even without us being aware of either. Take two friends for example; Little League buddies, classmates, teenagers together in the same small town. Two friends who might have been something more, if their skill at talking to each other had even only partly equalled the skill they acquired in watching and studying and longing for something they thought they could never have.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you're glad you did, then any kind of positive comment is always very welcome:)


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